This one is sort of a quick little post, in that after a few days of being down, the wireless router is back up and running..thank goodness. So here we go…..
Well the followup with Todd the nephrologist was this past Monday and while we do get along very well [as was mentioned before, he is like another bro to me like Nick, Steve and Wai are] the general medical tone was not that good. In fact rather somber in that it is now official: the only treatment that will be in place should the kidneys go even further south than they have is dialysis. Any transplant has been pulled off the table due to the congestive heart failure and the surrounding issues. Yes, that can mean being hooked up either to a machine or using another method that while somewhat LESS intrussive, is not pleasant none the less.
This brings up something I will discuss with Nick because I have an aversion about being a semi-human…being strapped to a machine several times a week to have the blood and other chemicals cleansed. It also puts to the fore the idea that there may not be as much left on the calendar as we had thought. As in like how many years before…..While I did state this here before, the reality of this hit Monday. Yes we are going to work to prevent the numbers from trending downward, but there is no guarantee this will work.
So how does one deal with this reality, this certainty…which now looks likely-not now but down the road? How does one broach this to the one they love that there is this spectre that now hovers?[My cats know..and yes I did email my crush about this before discusssing the results of the exam before saying anything to anyone else….just how things roll around here] And even though I mentioned a partial list of what I want to do …how does one really go about this without it appearing as though this is a morose and macabre celebration of life? I wish I knew the answers to all of this…but being human, I don’t. If someone reading this has a better idea…I’d love to hear or read it. It seems Ic an fix PC’s and do other things with a certain elan and think nothing of it. But this….well this is where I am lost…